Toys as Tools, Take Your Pick

Sex, masturbation and the use of bedroom accessories are still quite taboo, (which actually catches me off-guard considering my profession! I’ll be talking about the vulva or the sexual response cycle over dinner with my colleagues and look up only to realize I’m getting a lot of funny looks! Haha!)

Anyway, bedroom accessories aka toys, vibrators, dildos (to be politically correct, dildos do not use batteries so not all bedroom accessories are “dildos” they are just one of many categories among bedroom accessories) are tools to help you explore your body, to find new sensations and experiences, to take the-already-explored to heightened levels, to learn new strategies and techniques. You can do this by yourself (recommended at first) or if you’re comfortable enough go ahead and explore with your partner.

Keep in mind that toys aren’t just for penetration. The most sensitive of places are typically on the surface of the skin including the clitoris, the head of the penis, nipples and the first inch or so of the vagina or anus.

In this blog I’m going to go over the 5 basic categories: clitoral, vaginal (including the “classics”), g-spot, dual action, couples toys including constriction rings (c-rings). All toys range in strength of vibration and functions.

  1. Clitoral – is a great “go-to” if you’re new to the whole vibrator scene because more than 80% of women have to have clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm (meaning penetration is not enough). Clitoral toys are usually referred to as bullets. The motor is pinpointed in one spot so it hits small specific areas, which also makes it versatile because you can use it to pinpoint stimulation on other erogenous zones such as the nipples. Clitoral toys are typically small so are great to use alone or with a partner. They should never to be inserted into the vaginal canal.
  2. Vaginal – can be used externally on the clitoris or for penetration. Vaginal toys are typically a bit longer and wider than clitoral toys, but range in length and girth (diameter).  There are a variety of different types of materials including, top quality silicon, mediocre quality silicon, jellies and plastic. There is a niche for toys made of metal and glass. Also, beware that there are some vibrators made of latex, so if you have latex allergies just make sure prior to purchase (Pure Romance does not carry any toys made of latex). Most vaginal toys will have different textures for added vaginal massage.
  3. G-spot – will always have a hook-like shape at the end because the g-spot is approximately located about 2-3 inches inside the vaginal canal on the belly button side, so if you do the “come hither” motion that’s about where it is; although, I don’t recommend doing that to find it, because before you know it you’ll get carpal tunnel. Lol! Typically g-spot toys have a much strong vibration to help find the g-spot because the area is small and difficult to locate.
  4. Dual Action – have both clitoral stimulation and vaginal stimulation. Most have motors in both areas and are controlled separately. If you like a lot of stimulation or clitoral/vaginal by itself is just not enough for you then dual action is for you! In some cases dual action toys can “act as another player” in a fantasy without actually another person (unless you and your partner want to, of course).
  5. Couples Toys – typically are worn. They include constriction rings aka c-rings, and sleeves, strap-ons and bondage. C-rings keep the blood flow to the penis so that his erection lasts longer. Some have attached bullets and a second ring that goes around the testicles, so he becomes a human vibrator for her and gives added stimulation to areas such as his perineum, her clitoris or the anus.  Sleeves can be used as a buffer in the case that his penis reaches the cervix (which is painful) or as a buffer for anal play. Strap-ons and bondage I’ll go over in a future blog, so be on the look out! 🙂


Be happy; feel sexy,

Vanessa Bonham

P.S. When you’ve decided which type of toy(s) you’d like then you can decide on different features such as submersible, rechargeable, luxury, etc. If you still need help go ahead and sign up for my email (you’ll also get a free gift just for signing up!) and opt to have a free 3o min consultation with me,  CLICK HERE to subscribe or you can book a Pure Romance party for a more in depth explanation and in-person consultation where you’ll actually get to see and touch a variety of different edition accessories, plus they are super fun, a safe environment with just the girls and free!

Again,  CLICK HERE to subscribe and I’ll send you your very own guide to Making Time for Sexy Time!

Want to stay connected, check out the Talk Flirt with Vanessa Bonham Facebook Group to get other extra fun stuff too!😉


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