You mean I have options for lubricants?

Absolutely! There are so many types of lubricants out there; ones for different body types and others for different situations like water play, getting pregnant, etc! So this is your guide to picking out the best lubricant(s) for YOU!

First and foremost, always buy lubricants with high quality ingredients that means skip buying your lubricant from the grocery store! Now that we have THAT taken care of, let’s go over the different types of lubricants available to you and what they are designed for.

Everyday lubricants are meant for sex.  Please note, there are different types of sex other than penile-vaginal, but that’s what we’re going to talk about here. Some everyday lubricants are flavored, but most aren’t. Everyday lubricants create a barrier between you and your partner/product and protect you from getting any fissure tears. Fissure tears happen when there’s friction goin’ on directly to the soft delicate tissue that lines the vaginal wall, some refer to it (and excuse my language) as “raw doggin’ it.” If you feel a burning sensation when you go to the bathroom post sex, those are fissure tears and you may need an everyday lubricant! The other amazing thing that everyday lubricants do, is enhance the nerve endings in the vaginal canal which means it increases pleasure for you! SO! It decreases pain and increases pleasure, um heck yes! Check out this video from Logan Levkoff, Ph.D. about vaginal lubrication: Why Don’t I Get Wet When I’m Turned On.

● Water based lubricants – are the most basic everyday lubricant. Water-based lubricants are meant to soak up into the vaginal tissue to help with self lubrication. High grade ones are pH balanced, so are great for the most sensitive women or women who don’t want their partner to know they’re using a lubricant; because it will feel exactly like normal. Water-based lubricants have a unique quality to them: after it soaks into the tissue use a little water and it will “re-wet” itself. Pretty cool, huh!

● Silicone based everyday lubricants – have a much silky, slippery feel to them. The molecules are too big to soak into the skin so it lasts a really long time, great for bedroom marathons! It’s also not water-soluble so the perfect lubricant for water play i.e. in the shower, bathtub, Jacuzzi. 😉 Silicone based lubricants are great to use for anal play as long as you’re not also using a silicone toy. The lubricants will break down the material, cause niches in the toy which can grow bacteria and ultimately cause long-term damage to you!

● Synthetic silicone based everyday lubricants – have the silky feel that a silicone based lubricant has, but feels much thicker. These types of lubricants are great to use with toys without damaging them! If you’re a sensitive woman or your partner is sensitive to “creamy” lubricants then this is a great alternative to use with c-rings and sleeves!

Foreplay lubricants – these are very distinctive and add a lot of fun to the bedroom; however, that’s the thing… they are only meant for fun, they are NOT designed to protect your vagina. Foreplay lubricants are not to be used like an everyday lubricant (any of the above lubricants I described are considered “everyday lubricants”) Last thing before I go the different types: know that lubricants containing any type of oil will break down a condom.

● Warming lubricants do exactly what it sounds like. You place it on an erogenous zone i.e. nipples, penis, etc then the faster you rub the hotter it gets, if you want it even hotter, try giving it your sexy breath and it will send it over the top! Though the ingredients of warming lubricants are safe for the vaginal canal, you still should avoid it because penile to vaginal penetration causes friction and friction is what creates the warmth, so I guess what I’m trying to say is you want it to feel warm not burning! 😉

● Creamy lubricants are typically flavored, feel like lotion and are designed for c-rings, sleeves and various other couples toys that are placed around the shaft of a penis. You can also use these type of lubricants for a sensual massage, or place on areas that you would like to give oral action.

Now let’s go over different situations and scenarios where you might want a certain type of lubricant.

Post hysterectomy or menopause – estrogen comes from women’s ovaries; there is a direct link between estrogen and vaginal lubrication. After a hysterectomy and menopause there’s typically a significant decrease in estrogen which typically means vaginal dryness and thinning of vaginal tissue. Try using a water-based lubricant, it’s PH balance and will soak into the vaginal tissue and help self lubrication.

Trying to conceive  – creating a great environment for sperm to live in for the whole 7 day life span is great. There are quite a few rumors that claim lubricants have spermicide in them; however, most don’t they just don’t provide the absolute best environment. The most recommended and highly rated lubricant when trying to conceive is called Pre-Seed

Post chemotherapy – It is recommended to start out with a water-based lubricant because it’s designed for the most sensitive of women, it’s PH balanced and it’s a great place to start anyway because going through any type of change in you body always sends our sexuality spinning in crazy directions, so know that its okay however you feeling. It is highly recommended to be in constant contact with your health care provider and be involved with others going through the same body changes.

Anal play – The number one thing to know about anal play is that the area doesn’t lubricate itself and therefore should ALWAYS use a lubricant, specifically a silicone-based lubricant (unless you’re using a toy then you should use a silicone-safe lubricant that isn’t water-based. I recommend Simply Silk because I know it’s designed specifically for silicone-based toys) Did you know that 1 in 4 people engage in anal play? And about 40% of them report a significant amount of pain. That’s sufficient evidence to conclude people are probably engaging in this activity in a harmful way. There are a lot of nerve endings in the anus which can make it quite pleasurable; however, you always need to remember 3 things: LUBRICATION, relaxation, and communication! If you want to know more about anal play check back on this blog later and/or check out Tickle My Tush by Dr Sadie Allison!

Be happy; feel sexy!

Vanessa Bonham


P.S. Now that you know how to make sex more pleasurable, what about making time? If you’re having trouble being intimate with your partner because of time try “time blocking” and scheduling tasks that relate to each other in “chunks”, for example: instead of going down the to-do list: check emails, start laundry, check Facebook, go to work, do dishes, reply to emails… (sound familiar? ;)) Schedule yourself in chunks: online time, work time, then household chore time. When you go back and forth between different types of tasks it keeps you from getting “on a roll”. Remember to set a timer for each chunk! Would you like more tips to making time for sexy time because I have a lovely guide for you?  CLICK HERE to subscribe and I’ll send you your very own guide to Making Time for Sexy Time!

Again, CLICK HERE to subscribe!

Want to stay connected, check out my Facebook page: Pure Romance by Vanessa Bonham to get other extra fun stuff too! 😉

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